Plurality

The Lord is working something new in me.

I've always had a personal relationship with God - at least as far back as I can remember. He speaks clearly to me about the topics He chooses. I grew up in a church that did not really address the Holy Spirit audibly talking to you, in your head. So to those of us who did not grow up with the idea that this was possible and not a rare thing in this day and age, it sounds strange - crazy even. But to me it was normal, until I realized it was not normal. I had already been labeled as a daydreamer with an over active imagination so I rolled with it and figured that was it, even though I knew that was wrong and in my heart I knew who He really was.

God has always helped me with what I should do with my life, with decisions I should make, and He has given me discernment on how to help friends who'd come to me for advice. But this is the extent He had given me for others. Perhaps this was simply a box I had placed Him in because I didn't know this particular box could be larger... except in Bible stories.

As I got older I did research for myself, some things clicked and made more sense and somethings I was still in the dark on. It was like God was just waiting for me to catch up... or to wake up.

About 5 months ago I started attending an Assemblies of God church - I listened to at least half a dozen sermons online from this church before I made the decision to go to this church more than once. God told me to just start going, to get connected and not do my normal routine of over analyzing ever little piece of doctrine they talk about on their website. As I had learned over and over in my church searching - it doesn't matter what the website says, it's all about the people.

So I reached out, very awkwardly, and made some connections, did a lot of reading and started attending a "life group" - which is kind of like a Bible study.

I've grown and learned a lot in the last 5 months.

Last week was the first time I attended a life group other than the first one I connected with. God continued to blow my mind.

He decided to give me a message - in the plural - to speak out to everyone there. Then told me do to more with it, and continued to give me more plural messages relating to chapters in the Bible that I read - these I will share later. But this first truly plural message is why I started this blog. So here is the message I received - the disclaimer I said in the group I will say here as well, God did not tell me if this was specifically for one person, He simply said share, so it may be meant for you, or pieces of it may be meant for you, or it may even be meant for you to share with someone else.

Now listen child. Do not judge unnecessarily -be aware of their intentions toward you, but even if they are not good in nature, do not let this harden your heart towards them. Reach out, even though you will endure persecution in My Name. When this happens, lean into Me child - with all your strength, for I am the Rock you have built your lovely house on. I am your Rock child, now use Me - for I am always here - wherever you go, I am there. 

The days will pass and I will move mountain after mountain for you - I am your strength when you have none left - for you will be depleted. Remember to come to me in your time of need. Do not turn to others for their affection, for they may have evil intentions - which you will learn the hard way, child. Do not lose hope. Turn to me in your time of need - run - flee from their earthly intentions. Seek refuge in Me. 

During this life group another person shared part of Psalm 23. So I read it, and it was all good, and I felt like it was connected to what God spoke to me about. So I encourage you to read it. Psalm 23:4 I felt was very specifically connected to what God shared with me - which reads: Even though I walk through the darkest valley I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 

Striving for Obedience in God's Eyes

The Lord, my heavenly Father has called me to do many things. I feel as though I am at the threshold of entering into His Will for my life. Everything up to this point has been preparation.

I am still in a learning process, we all are, as long as we are on this earth. But the things I am learning now, or fail to learn now, have direct impact on God's Final Plan for my life - the big picture, which I still have trouble seeing sometimes - or maybe it's that I have trouble believing that He wants me to do something so BIG. But I am learning more and more to lean on His strengths and not my own. To do as He says, even if I don't understand why at the time. Which is why I started this blog, God has called me to write - to share what He is teaching me. To share messages He has given me. So here I am, striving for obedience in God's eyes.

This scares me. I am a fairly quiet person, it's not that I am timid, or meek. I am reserved. I like to listen and watch - to figure out how things work before I jump in. Even when I do jump in I have limited words... the only time I am wordy is when I am nervous... or entirely comfortable. I am not a fan of public speaking, or having all the attention on me. Yet God has showed me that this is part of His plan for my life, and I must learn to speak His words to others. I believe this blog is like my boot camp for that - my training.

Welcome to my journey.

I believe words have a weight to them that can often go unaccounted for. I am very aware of this, and for this reason I will start this blog without my usual audience of close friends and family. I may invite them in eventually. But I have learned a lot of lessons in my 27 years in which they are woven into. Some of them have pain and hurt in them, not only for me but for them as well. I do not want want to push them away by forcing my words on them when I know they are not ready to read them... or hear them. I do not want to hamper their faith walk, or deter them from starting one.

So I embark on this journey alone...

Well not totally, I have made some new friends who I hope will share this journey with me.

But you dear stranger, are who these words are meant for.